Last night I had multiple nightmares about coming across a murdered dog in a stream, acid baths, and devastating car crashes. I had wierd vibes all day, and felt incredibly anxious for the first time in almost a year - too anxious to eat, talk, drink water.. I don't know where this all came from, but I just couldn't concentrate all day and didn't feel up to much, so I did chores until 5pm. All day i'd had a strange attraction to the idea of going to the duckpond in Peckham Rye Park all day - it was kind of calling to me. So I went and 5pm, and walked really slowly and sat about for ages doing absolutely nothing and thinking about nothing. Then I wandered about a bit in the Sexby Garden in the park which is landscaped and densely planted, with a pergola and lots of secluded benches. It was 6:30 and almost dark when I left, and I felt really content and peaceful, and i didn't have the usual sense of place that I do - one that is linked with people, activity, culture etc. Instead I had a kind of sense of place that was totally based on the light, temperature, sounds, colours and trees etc. I just enjoyed it without noticing, rather than my usual approach of noticing things to enjoy!
And then I realised i'd found a safe space! And it improved my anxiety so much!
So that's a nice little thing to know for myself - that the idea of a safe space (place/shelter/your own body all intertwined) is a legitimate thing to be pursuing and promoting during my residency at Free Space Gallery.
Peace out. x
Art and writing about the possibility of the imagination to mobilise social change and environmental activism // Through a pop and cult culture approach.
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