Friday 29 May 2015

Do some stuff





Above is a small wall hanging made from onion skin dyed found fabric, and mono-printed.
I made it into a 'zine' that comes with stickers :) It's called DIVEST zine, as introduction to the global Divest movement, which is aimed at asking people, projects, organisation, companies, charities etc to pull their money out of fossil fuel industries, whether a bank, for example, has invested it directly or whether a person has unknowlingly invested through their pension fund etc. READ ALL ABOUT IT
I am working on the Fossil Free Southwark team to bring a case towards asking Southwark Council to divest their pension fund, of which £17million is in fossil fuels!! Sign the petition here:
and so....

I took my Springsteen zine to the DIY Cultures fair and got laughed at. This surprised me so much! Because a lot of people I have daily contact with find my worship of The Boss quite intense and maybe weird. I thought the DIY Cultures fair would be a breeding ground for people with weird obsessions and preoccupations. But the people at the DIY Cultures fair seemed to think it was weird too. I couldn’t understand this until I walked around a bit and looked at all the tables and zines on show and for sale… and I realised they are all potently feminist, anarchist or queer  or anti-war. These are all causes I truly believe in but because I am a white, straight mainstream looking girl who happens to have had a comfortable upbringing and has been to uni, I think I’m not misfit enough for my ideas to be legit in the zine world. Nor is Bruce Springsteen, who despite his past and his message, is now too mainstream, too universal and possibly too ‘dad-rock’ to be the required level of misfit end edgy any longer.

In my daily experience I do feel like my ideas are slightly misfitting – I care passionately about the environment and ecological causes, and this doesn’t ring so true for a lot of people.
I am also passionately annoyed about the complacency and lack of personal dream-nurturing that I see in all walks of life across London and through media channels. I can’t bare it when people don’t think for themselves and just mosey along with whatever path was laid out for or expected of them from their upbringing or schooling. Who cares if you don’t get anywhere – just have some dreams and try. And I also can’t bare it when people don’t form their own moral codes but instead just copy their peers or parents or society.
I find that Springsteen and his legacy exemplifies the epic, emotionally charged passion for conjuring up dreams and pushing them forward, and putting in effort and showing respect and working hard at whatever cause you choose.
I also feel out of place and struggle (although I’m aware I am very good at hiding this) due to ongoing emotional difficulties, which hold me back a lot.
All of this makes me feel sad that I was made to feel inferior at the DIY Cultures fair, which I’d been so excited about because of all the free, expressionistic, open-minded creativity I was going to see there.
I felt like my own ideas, perspectives, causes and problems were belittled slightly and that is the opposite effect of what all the zine world should be creating. Thank you very much!

And as for devising your own moral codes… I was pretty disheartened by the Strike! Magazine stand who were selling stickers that said ‘Fuck off back to Eton’ and a picture of the Tory cabinet. I totally agree that privileged white males ought not to run our incredibly diverse country, but by targeting their background and schooling just adds fuel to the flame because those are things that they did not have a choice in. You can’t lump them all in together really, because some privileged people do good things, and some underprivileged people do bad things. And money isn’t the basis of morality.
Not that I went to Eton obviously – but I think an antagonistic absolutist cry such as that of Strike!’s sticker is an example of forcing the moral hand of others. I mean, swearing is just a stupid tool because it undermines any important message. Unless it’s done ironically and even then that is bound to switch some people off before you’ve even got them listening. You gotta consider your audience.
But yeah – the pushy and instructive approach that got directed towards me on that stall did not make me sympathetic to their efforts. I want to be swimming in a sea of effort and able to follow whichever current I identify with when they invite me nicely, not to be besieged by angry people TELLING me what to think and do. I do think anger is the root all problems in counter-culture movements.

BUT – all is not lost.
I met a really lovely girl called Holly Casio who was selling three zines called Me and Bruce! About Springsteen obvs. I bought all three… and they’ve given me a nice insight into a different Bruce fan’s life and fandom.
Also I bought a groovy screenprint by Teresa Ferreiro which sounds rad if i describe it: It's all pink, and is of a naked girl doing some wierd yoga/baby pose on a beach next tot a beached baby whale (or maybe it's a tuna) and a wierdly upright flounder fish. There's some palm trees.
It appeals to my sensitivity to rising sea levels, oil spills and overfishing and naughty tuna fishing....


Anyway... I now feel like I have to justify why I love Springsteen so much.
I’m not from the industrial working class with no choice in life and I’m not a typical marginalised person by any means.
BUT his music and his bands still offer me this unique sense of being not only legitimate in following my own path, but in being obliged to do so.
The first Springsteen song I really remember hearing was The Rising back in 2002 in the car with my parents.
But two years ago I got really into him.
I’ve always loved Bright Eyes and I’ve always loved the idea of doing whatever I can to offer my own talents (creativity and sensitivity) to society and the planet and to damn well never be caught up in sacrificing those for the sake of money lust. So when I heard Bright Eyes’ lyric ‘if you’re still free start running away’ that really resonated with me.  It made me feel even more compelled to make sure I followed my ambitions instead of getting a ‘proper job’ just to fulfil my well educated destiny and make dollar. (I want to do everything I can with the experiences and education I’ve had, but I’ve certainly felt pressure from people to get a ‘proper job’ instead of my retail or nannying or art work, and confusion from people when I describe my plans to the contrary. Note* these people are NOT my parents – who I have felt 100% supported by to do my own thing from day one). The people I went to school with were all comfortably off. Some were over privileged in my opinion. And although I had brilliant friends, and my religious studies and arts teachers were very liberal and supportive, there were a fair few people who I know couldn’t, and can’t, understand why making a more than comfortable living is not my priority.

Anyway….. I wished there were more songs like that Bright Eyes song ‘Land Locked Blues’ that made me feel so empowered by my own traits and ideas… and there were, I just hadn’t heard them yet. Those songs I had yet to discover were the songs of Bruce Springsteen, and they started with Born to Run.

Since then I’ve been a sort of disciple of the history, music and story of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band, and his early bands such as The Castiles and Steel Mill.
I will now attempt to sum up in one very short paragraph the things that aforementioned entities offer, teach and demonstrate:
-       - Imagination, adventure and ambition beyond what is expected of you and breaking out of moulds.
-       - Cooperation and kinship.
-       - The virtue of hard work, and that hard work can take any form as long as it’s born of serious effort and contribution in whatever way. Smalltown stories mean everything too.
Think that sums it up enough to begin – but I could really go on forever.
And I take all these qualities, demonstrations of behaviour and attitude, and ideas into my quest to help people feel empathy and care for the natural world, and for their own dreams.



So... I proceed....




Bday pressies for my Mama

Got my trusty intaglio inks out again and made some gloopy luscious colours and shapes mmmm



Went mad, painted an old fake suede duvet cover - and i've now got a new shirt



Below are some photos of my exhibition the Small White Elephant (aka my artistic refreshment jungle mecca!). Dale and Jen set the place up as an amazingly cosy, delicious and relaxed cafe, with exhibition wall space for local artists. They were so welcoming - i've had to stop myself going back every day lest spend all of my meagre earnings there and I become destitute.
Go there if you can, it is so peaceful and jungley :) HERE IS THEIR WEBSITE
The show was so fun, and nearly all my friends came from far and wide to see it. I sold my painting 'I've gone to wash my eyelids in the rain' to my old pal Evie, which is the best - cos then I know it will be in a special home and I can see it again!

I also have another solo show lined up somewhere else, yay! In December.





Caitlin looking lovely with the plants


Moi


Max (my pal who sings - i've never heard him but I guess here you can!) reading my wierd thoughts on my blurb


'YOU ALL KILLED ME' - monoprint

'On the way to the Springsteen show II'

sticker design

And below... sketching and planning and plotting and concocting





my fave sketchbook page i ever did make




Tuesday 19 May 2015

The arrangement of things, people, places..... and message

What of the arrangements and choice of objects in a space? In a painting?

There is often an interplay between symbols, creating mechanisms and dynamics which could simply be suggestive and emotive for subjective reading, or specifically rooted in a political or social stance.
A hierarchy, a leadership?
An effort against or for something? A push or pull.
A symbiosis?
The strong shape of a trio?
A knife edge?
What is at stake in this dynamic?
Does something carry a burden for others or is there distribution?
IS there a collapse?
Is there activity?
I don’t ever want there to be viewer passivity. Unless passivity is being rubbed in their face so as to rouse them out of it.

Is there a person present who we all know represents something? Is Grimes dancing on a Tokyo lilly pad or is Bruce Springsteen driving out of town or is General Custer’s body stuffed inside a bass drum or is Owen Patterson eating low welfare beef in a Luxembourg restaurant?

A layering – what’s in the background. ‘It’s a way of rhythm, it’s a way of telling a story or  a situation or something like that’ -  Jo Baer

Are ideas mobilised across thresholds? Pushed across them an into action as they depart from one scene and enter another?
Hopefully I can begin to mobilise, instead of simply romanticise. Or is loaded romanticism enough to cooerce peoples leanings when minds are subjective anyway?
That’s another thing – leanings. What props up what and what sways towards what?

Visibility is a feature which can denominate the reading of a scene and so suggest a hierarchy or dynamic. Visibility relies on many visual features:
Colour, size, shape, texture, light, shadow, perspective, lines of sight, blocking, framing, movement, stillness, spaces, pathways, proportion, balances etc.

‘You have to work to find out if your ideas are any good’
…trying to turn a graphic into a painting…
real paintings have real structures that go back a long way, all the way to the caves… there’s something that makes it living, and if it’s not living throw it away’

‘I have an absolutely star unconscious, it does what it wants to do, it pulls me along’
-       Jo Baer

There’s gotta be life in the execution of the design.
And moving onto design… message…. communication.
Design is a concept of function and practicality. The function is communication. So the design is as important as the life of a painting.

Perhaps poetry can show the design of the ‘life’?

Alice Khalilova is a contemporary artist that I am very intrigued by. 
However, she said ‘it’s almost a sin to use art like propaganda – it didn’t lead anyone anywhere good’.
I cannot handle that approach – I think that the world is on a knife edge socially and environmentally, so all that we really have space for is art that leans towards propaganda –that holds important, cohesive and accessible messages about what to do to help. We no longer have the luxury of time or space that we can fill with simply pretty things. They have to be more than that now.





collage in progress





Above is a completed painting on algae paper. It is called 'Swaglands I'.
I like it. It's for sale in return for a van in which I can live. Or for the price thereof... maybe £150 to get me going.

Below are some screenshots of two places (Bongaree, QLD, Australia. and Long Beach, California) i'm desperate to go. I've been compiling a book of such places, including places I want return to again, and I am acquiring beautiful postcards of those places as part of a banner i'm working on about joining a narrative and appropriating other peoples adventures and dreams for our own emotional and ambitious development... vicarious living into real dream pursuit.
I wrote a bit about postcards a while back: http://battle-sponge.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/postcard-perfect.html








Thursday 14 May 2015

it's gonna be amazinE




My "...ragged edge of town' zine, printed and ready for the DIY Cultures fair at Rich Mix on Sunday 24th May. Gonna be such a rad day out!! So excited to see people making indie publications, saying what they wanna say and expressing what they wanna express, especially after the savage Tory-centric takeover of the media in the election run up. This zine of mine is about autonomy, effort, self-sufficiency and the architecture of a change in our habits and attitudes, all characterised by Springsteen's musical legacy and his fans, and presented through my ideological land of the Swaglands.
Spent the morning in the studio before work today. Working on four big fabric pieces, digitally printed on silk. Gonna be lush. 
My solo show Laterstate Oasis in Peckham opened this time last week and it was super fun! Photos to follow. It's on until next Thursday if you wanna....







Irene and Marilyn on Home & Away back in the mid '90s. At the diner. Aren't they a dream!!?


Amazing Springsteen dancing on a super uplifting doc I watched on Monday


The Big Man and The Boss



And below is bad karma giving me a row for buying too much plastic packaging - cut myself on a silly little hummus pot. my movement from packaged products to unpackaged ones is a bit hard when i get hungry and caught short. i've learned my lesson.