Above is a small wall hanging made from onion skin dyed found fabric, and mono-printed.
I made it into a 'zine' that comes with stickers :) It's called DIVEST zine, as introduction to the global Divest movement, which is aimed at asking people, projects, organisation, companies, charities etc to pull their money out of fossil fuel industries, whether a bank, for example, has invested it directly or whether a person has unknowlingly invested through their pension fund etc. READ ALL ABOUT IT
I am working on the Fossil Free Southwark team to bring a case towards asking Southwark Council to divest their pension fund, of which £17million is in fossil fuels!! Sign the petition here:
and so....
I took my Springsteen
zine to the DIY Cultures fair and got laughed at. This surprised me so much!
Because a lot of people I have daily contact with find my worship of The Boss
quite intense and maybe weird. I thought the DIY Cultures fair would be a breeding
ground for people with weird obsessions and preoccupations. But the people at
the DIY Cultures fair seemed to think it was weird too. I couldn’t understand
this until I walked around a bit and looked at all the tables and zines on show
and for sale… and I realised they are all potently feminist, anarchist or
queer or anti-war. These are all
causes I truly believe in but because I am a white, straight mainstream looking
girl who happens to have had a comfortable upbringing and has been to uni, I
think I’m not misfit enough for my ideas to be legit in the zine world. Nor is
Bruce Springsteen, who despite his past and his message, is now too mainstream,
too universal and possibly too ‘dad-rock’ to be the required level of misfit
end edgy any longer.
In my daily experience
I do feel like my ideas are slightly misfitting – I care passionately about the
environment and ecological causes, and this doesn’t ring so true for a lot of
people.
I am also passionately
annoyed about the complacency and lack of personal dream-nurturing that I see
in all walks of life across London and through media channels. I can’t bare it
when people don’t think for themselves and just mosey along with whatever path
was laid out for or expected of them from their upbringing or schooling. Who
cares if you don’t get anywhere – just have some dreams and try. And I also
can’t bare it when people don’t form their own moral codes but instead just
copy their peers or parents or society.
I find that
Springsteen and his legacy exemplifies the epic, emotionally charged passion
for conjuring up dreams and pushing them forward, and putting in effort and
showing respect and working hard at whatever cause you choose.
I also feel out of
place and struggle (although I’m aware I am very good at hiding this) due to
ongoing emotional difficulties, which hold me back a lot.
All of this makes me
feel sad that I was made to feel inferior at the DIY Cultures fair, which I’d
been so excited about because of all the free, expressionistic, open-minded
creativity I was going to see there.
I felt like my own
ideas, perspectives, causes and problems were belittled slightly and that is
the opposite effect of what all the zine world should be creating. Thank you
very much!
And as for devising
your own moral codes… I was pretty disheartened by the Strike! Magazine stand who were selling stickers that said ‘Fuck
off back to Eton’ and a picture of the Tory cabinet. I totally agree that
privileged white males ought not to run our incredibly diverse country, but by
targeting their background and schooling just adds fuel to the flame because
those are things that they did not have a choice in. You can’t lump them all in
together really, because some privileged people do good things, and some
underprivileged people do bad things. And money isn’t the basis of morality.
Not that I went to
Eton obviously – but I think an antagonistic absolutist cry such as that of Strike!’s sticker is an example of
forcing the moral hand of others. I mean, swearing is just a stupid tool
because it undermines any important message. Unless it’s done ironically and
even then that is bound to switch some people off before you’ve even got them
listening. You gotta consider your audience.
But yeah – the pushy
and instructive approach that got directed towards me on that stall did not
make me sympathetic to their efforts. I want to be swimming in a sea of effort
and able to follow whichever current I identify with when they invite me
nicely, not to be besieged by angry people TELLING me what to think and do. I
do think anger is the root all problems in counter-culture movements.
BUT – all is not lost.
I met a really lovely
girl called Holly Casio who was selling three zines called Me
and Bruce! About Springsteen obvs. I bought all three… and they’ve given me
a nice insight into a different Bruce fan’s life and fandom.
Also I bought a groovy screenprint by Teresa Ferreiro which sounds rad if i describe it: It's all pink, and is of a naked girl doing some wierd yoga/baby pose on a beach next tot a beached baby whale (or maybe it's a tuna) and a wierdly upright flounder fish. There's some palm trees.
It appeals to my sensitivity to rising sea levels, oil spills and overfishing and naughty tuna fishing....
Anyway... I now feel like I have
to justify why I love Springsteen so much.
I’m not from the
industrial working class with no choice in life and I’m not a typical
marginalised person by any means.
BUT his music and his
bands still offer me this unique sense of being not only legitimate in
following my own path, but in being obliged to do so.
The first Springsteen
song I really remember hearing was The
Rising back in 2002 in the car with my parents.
But two years ago I
got really into him.
I’ve always loved
Bright Eyes and I’ve always loved the idea of doing whatever I can to offer my
own talents (creativity and sensitivity) to society and the planet and to damn
well never be caught up in sacrificing those for the sake of money lust. So
when I heard Bright Eyes’ lyric ‘if
you’re still free start running away’ that really resonated with me. It made me feel even more compelled to
make sure I followed my ambitions instead of getting a ‘proper job’ just to
fulfil my well educated destiny and make dollar. (I want to do everything I can
with the experiences and education I’ve had, but I’ve certainly felt pressure
from people to get a ‘proper job’ instead of my retail or nannying or art work,
and confusion from people when I describe my plans to the contrary. Note* these
people are NOT my parents – who I have felt 100% supported by to do my own
thing from day one). The people I went to school with were all comfortably off.
Some were over privileged in my opinion. And although I had brilliant friends,
and my religious studies and arts teachers were very liberal and supportive,
there were a fair few people who I know couldn’t, and can’t, understand why
making a more than comfortable living is not my priority.
Anyway….. I wished there
were more songs like that Bright Eyes song ‘Land
Locked Blues’ that made me feel so empowered by my own traits and ideas…
and there were, I just hadn’t heard them yet. Those songs I had yet to discover
were the songs of Bruce Springsteen, and they started with Born to Run.
Since then I’ve been a
sort of disciple of the history, music and story of Bruce Springsteen and the E
Street band, and his early bands such as The Castiles and Steel Mill.
I will now attempt to
sum up in one very short paragraph the things that aforementioned entities
offer, teach and demonstrate:
- - Imagination,
adventure and ambition beyond what is expected of you and breaking out of
moulds.
- - Cooperation
and kinship.
- - The virtue
of hard work, and that hard work can take any form as long as it’s born of
serious effort and contribution in whatever way. Smalltown stories mean
everything too.
Think that sums it up
enough to begin – but I could really go on forever.
And I take all these
qualities, demonstrations of behaviour and attitude, and ideas into my quest to
help people feel empathy and care for the natural world, and for their own
dreams.
So... I proceed....
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| Bday pressies for my Mama |
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| Got my trusty intaglio inks out again and made some gloopy luscious colours and shapes mmmm |
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| Went mad, painted an old fake suede duvet cover - and i've now got a new shirt |
Below are some photos of my exhibition the Small White Elephant (aka my artistic refreshment jungle mecca!). Dale and Jen set the place up as an amazingly cosy, delicious and relaxed cafe, with exhibition wall space for local artists. They were so welcoming - i've had to stop myself going back every day lest spend all of my meagre earnings there and I become destitute.
Go there if you can, it is so peaceful and jungley :) HERE IS THEIR WEBSITE
The show was so fun, and nearly all my friends came from far and wide to see it. I sold my painting 'I've gone to wash my eyelids in the rain' to my old pal Evie, which is the best - cos then I know it will be in a special home and I can see it again!
I also have another solo show lined up somewhere else, yay! In December.
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| Caitlin looking lovely with the plants |
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| Moi |
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| Max (my pal who sings - i've never heard him but I guess here you can!) reading my wierd thoughts on my blurb |
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| 'YOU ALL KILLED ME' - monoprint |
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| 'On the way to the Springsteen show II' |
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| sticker design |
And below... sketching and planning and plotting and concocting
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| my fave sketchbook page i ever did make |
